Monday, January 4, 2016

SATURN RUN by John Sandford & Ctein ****

This is almost 500 pages, so of course being who I am I think I can cut 100 pages out of this sucker so it's not as sleep inducing as it was.

USA and China have a space ship (year 2068 or so) going to space because it appeared from earth that aliens were moving back and forth to a moon of Saturn. There's your RUN, they are racing to get there first. The US gets there first on (of all things in hell) a ship named the Richard R. Nixon. which almost made me toss the library book into the trash. Pushing that absurdity aside I read it all and SPOILER ALERT there are no aliens to meet, only robotic crap that aliens created. There are no questions worth asking those useless pieces of crap.

 I won't give much else away except to say that traveling for 3 yrs to another planet can be tres boring. There is a bet going onboard the US ship on the date the ship's captain and some guy will screw so they hold off till it's a million then fuck and split it. Meantime back at the Chinese ship they are scurrying along slowly with mostly militia on board vs the US having mostly scientists aboard with very few weapons altho they have lots of technology even printers that can reproduce printers etc. So the inevitable happens at around page 400 on the way home to Earth when the Chinese are having so much trouble with their ship they come aboard the US ship and try to take it over with some bitch killing people every time she blinks even after all Chinese being throughly searched by the US teams. They did a crappy ass job. The new travelers used aerosolized LSD. Must have been a fun time for all.

I folded some pages where I think "she' was used instead of "he' or it was ambiguous for pages until they finally mentioned she was with a she, as in gay. For awhile I couldn't tell if Sandy was male or female. In one scenario the Chinese were on a trip to Mars for some reason, saw the Saturn business and were perfectly equipped to change course in their cargo ship with enough crap on board of food and water for 6 years? I wasn't convinced. Meantime how and why did a US ship guy become a Chinese spy? I mean the Chinese didn't even know the US was going to Saturn so how'd they plant someone on the ship? Reality sets in.

I'd like to know at what time in the world laws were written stating what piracy in the sky was, or what international laws were dreamed up for space travel? Ok, so I'm not gonna be around for 2068 but still, I'm clueless, so how long has space travel been going on? Sometimes Zhang is male and sometimes I think it's a she, I'm very confused, it's a large book and I just can't familiarize myself quickly to so many people, sexes and countries. There are very few VERY WELL drawn characters the rest are filler robots. I hate books with too many people and this has too many pages, too many people, too many scenarios of b.s. to get thru without encountering ONE lousy alien. I mean COME ON!! I read 500 pages and no alien??? Disappointed. Hence the only 4 stars.

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