Thursday, May 27, 2010

WHERE THE DEAD LAY by David Levien **

Started it. About boxing or fighting. "Yay" she moaned dully from her box in hell.
So some gym rat dies and some other gym rat shall track down the killers. Meanwhile there's a group of -ex cons? more gym rats? Related brother gang? About every word out of their mouth I have no clue what it means. Am struggling thru their street slang crapola.

I finished it up. It's about a family of over-built steroidal men trying to cash in on whatever the fuck a pea house is. I dunno and it's only explained as something like bingo but one number wins? WTF. Anyways so our hero ex-cop is a huge meathead with a girlfriend who's knocked up but he once had a son and wife? or girlfriend? one never really knows and a child who somehow killed himself with the ex-cop hero's gun. You never ever find out at what age, who was responsible, how that went down. And the way it's written ya don't really care.

There's a lot of innuendo and no answers at the end. You only get suggestions of endings and surmises. Personally I would have passed after I started on the boxing/kick fighting/ju jitsu crap but it's a holiday weekend and I only got one other unread book.

Sucked for me.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The EX MRS. HEDGEFUND by Jill Kargman *

If you GAS about Sex & the City or chick lit you might like this but I detest those and this book. This rich broad who drops name brands like an ad exec sees her husband kissing someone and they're getting divorced. The entire novel is all MeMeMeMeMe. Entitlement much? Babies in limos dropped at day care? WTF?

Names: Kiki, Sherry, Petri (like the dish), Miles<--her kid. The jokes are old and tired, I think most come from Jack Benny. Dusted off mummies.

She writes "'I beg your pardon' I had never uttered that phrase in my life (it seemed so old school)" yet she refers to women as gals as if they are cartons of milk. Gals? Really? How ancient are you, old crone? She also uses "gussying up" so this must be a western- giddyup. Fer shore!

Honestly not much about main asshole Holly's marital relationship before the divorce, some referrals mostly to husband Tim's financial status as PIG and hers as PAID FOR. So when the divorce comes I can only imagine the tears being shed are dimes falling from her tear ducts. Shallow Hal pales in comparison. I shall continue reading and see if it gets worse. So far it's all marshmallow fluff for dollars.

Here's an example of her superficial take on life in general: I could wallow in self pitying misery till the Crypt Keeper giggled (WTF?) ....or I could buck up and jump back into life (like she took time off). Cliche overbearing crap.

And so her mortification went on until the end of the paragraph where she is cured of her divorced situation.

In one breath she castigates blondes showing a chart about how slutty they are the blonder they get when she just dyed hers BLONDER! LOL STUPID ass.
It all reads like it's "tell" not "show" so much blahblahblah inane empty headed bleach blonde ruminations. YAWN.

Don't like it much. I only blog so I don't write INSIDE the books my frustration at having to put up with so much SHIT! I am always so tempted to scribble in the books and they come from the library, they would fine me. Blog, blog instead of rewriting the book on the pages. This one would be delete delete delete.

I'm reading along and this is supposed to be set in 2006 but Kiki goes out dressed 'chic' in fishnet, short mini dress and thigh high boots...Twiggy (1967?), is that you? Then they pound on someone else for dressing old fashioned in St. John knitwear whatever that crap is.

She seemed like a "chill boss", even if she had a "tough-cookie" vibe; my "gut" was that she was a "straight shooter". Whatever!! Cliche-girl. AND cutesy word inventor...Jill liked BranJolina so much she copulates all her words together like STARachitect....GET OUT!!!! True! True.....sadly, miserably, cutesily, true.
Do not bother with this one unless you are a material girl, star fucker wannabe. HOW the FUCK did she get published? Ohhhhhh fuck......who tho?

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

TRUST NO ONE by Gregg Hurwitz ****

Not a bad read, about a kid who watched his step dad die, took the blame and had to disappear. He comes home and has to deal with a current presidential election and his past which are connected.

It was sort of paced well with good descriptions. I liked the main character but there was a lot of stuff that I personally don't care about like politics, agents, spies, rumors. Too little about the murder and too late for me to care. I mean I LIKE mysteries but this didn't seem in my realm. So in the end who hired Kim and for what reason? There are small spots I skipped over but thought it was basically a good story well written. Don't have a lot of complaints but wasn't one of my favorites either.

Friday, May 21, 2010

STILL MIDNIGHT by Denise Mina **

Around page 50 and this is a sample of her style which is irritating:
Paragraph begins with Pat and stuff he did in the past, next about Eddy and him running, next must have flashback about coke, missus leaving Eddy, next coke being cut with something and there's a boy. (Where are we? Why? WTF is going on?) next the boy hit Eddy? (I can't be sure it's so disjointed), next para. Eddy off balance (mentally? yup physically? guess so) next para. the very very past about Pat rallying when Eddys wife left and lost jobs, next para. Walking in mud (present?) Malki smoking a fag (I didn't know the gays were smokable), next para.  Pat grabs Malki? This is her style. Back and forth, up and down. You're a yoyo. Past and present, future and present, hopping from one person to the next.

So far it's about some coke heads who kidnap an asian from Scotland. Yup. Makes sense to me too! Esp. since they were looking for BOB and everyone else is saying they were looking for ROBBIE. WTF?

And so it goes.
So it's a flippin English bird writer. What's a 'scheme' dipshit? I have no clue but it's something to do with a neighborhood. Do I care?

So you never learn anything about Morrows baby dying. You never learn about the problems she's having with her husband. Or why she hates him until his finger touches her. LOL

You never learn why the criminals selected these people to kidnap and ransom. I thought stories had beginning, middle and end. No end in sight and I'm all done reading the trash. I've never ended a book so pissed off there isn't an ending to anything PLUS some asshole kidnapper age 28 is happily pursuing a 17 year old with the author's blessing. COME ON ARSEHOLE.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

SAND SHARKS by Margaret Maron ***

I've only just live....I mean read this. So far I'm disappointed. There are approx. 2 new names per page and it hasn't slowed down up to page 36. One of my pet peeves.

Main character Deborah (do NOT call her Deb), has a 9yo stepson she has a need to manipulate along with her new husband. First she forces him to smell a scent that reminds him of his dead mommy, then she gets all crazy because he and dad would rather eat fast food on their day out together instead of an apple and PBJ sandwhich. I mean she gets a bat up her ass over it. Very controlling and manipulative thruout. This horror is going on a convention out of town where she's fucked everything moving in the past so of course her new husband seems a tad worried cuz he's not going with her.

She's a judge, on a judge convention at the beach, one of the judges get murdered, then a hit and run, then another murder. Not very mysterious yet all the clues are hidden until the very last page.

Someone's name is that like John married Anna? They get Jonna? What the hell kind of name is that? Continuing I must.....

Wasn't the worst book I ever read but not on the top 100 list either. It's fair, stays interesting, moves along. Some mindlessness about shopping, clothing, makeup, and hard to tell her take on gays (People are whoever they are I don't care).

The names do come fast and furious but I just skip over them all pretending none are necessary to the story line, sometimes I had to backup and figure out who was what but otherwise not too tedious. Read at your own risk of wakefulness memorizing names while falling asleep.

Monday, May 17, 2010

LIARS ALL by Jo Bannister -*

That is MINUS a STAR.

Irish writer 'goolies, put the frighteners on him, squibs exploding behind his eyes, old lags?" Hate the language. More Irish crapola, tyres, kerb, roar of pistons (haha, like they have more than a 4 cylinder vehicle in her parts with piston noises).

Remove Daniel's glasses and he is so blind he can't see anything? He needs a seeing eye dog then. Someone tried to kill people with a car to get some jewelry (weird) and someone is hired to find it, Daniel. BUT the cops, the insurance agency have tried to find it and can't. Daniel asks ONE guy about the sapphire he's looking for and someone threatens and beats him. Did this happen to the cops or the ins. agent? NO????

In some part of this story a baby is sick, the mom wants people to pray to god to save it's life. A guy (Daniel) she asks to help pray is an atheist and doesn't want to. The fact is that it's almost IRL (not quite) proven that it's not WHO one prays to, it's the fact that a bunch of people may be able to psychically sway enough atoms or cells to perform so called miracles. So the atheist shouldn't have an issue which this writer seems to make it some big frickin religious deal.

BTW I hate religion in my fiction novels. I don't do THAT kind of FICTION.  So thanx for the big YUK. Now the stupid coont is saying "We don't know why God keeps going when science stops to save one individual" blahblah. Well Miss Assholian- God wants the baby to die of cancer so STFU and stop trying to intervene in His plan! Douche.

Also a criminal's daughter unknowingly bought a hot necklace which in this country would be a slap on the wrist and her FATHER is going to jail?? PROOF OF WHAT BIATCH? With supposedly many charges to follow (?) says Deacon (<--hows that for Freudian; a priestly virginal boyfriend who knocked Brodie up without benefit of frickin daring!)

And if that all isn't bad enough the coont has the main character Brodie give up her best friend as a sacrifice to god (he wants blood, is this 1700?) to save her moron son that HER god wants dead. AND the writer is such a hardcore biatch she/Brodie only lets the best friend (Daniel) have a cripple in a wheelchair to make up for losing herself. How absolutely DECENT of her to let him have a cripple in a wheelchair paralyzed from the waist down! LOL ROT IN HELL Daniel! U must have been very bad! Everything we do from cursing to farting gets marked against each of us you know says the NORTH IRELAND if your baby has cancer blame yourself for your rotten attitude- don't complain to me about this crap write to Jo Bannister who has her head up her ass. I think she must suffer brain damage or something, or maybe she's 'special'. You know 'short yellow bus'.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

LOST & FOUND by Jacqueline Sheehan *****

I like it and it's a quick read. Recently widowed a psychologist moves to an East coast island and does animal control. I did it AC work as well and some of the writer's stuff is so-so on the reality scale but nevertheless it's good reading. Nice story lines, good inside her head stuff, ok descriptions nothing weird, complicated, no magic flying unicorns or tigards whatever the fuck those are. Recommend the book.

NINE GATES by Jane Lindskold *

Should be labeled fiction fantasy and called nine gates of go to hell reader. Another weird inter dimensional beyond my GAS meter. Ya gotcha "Lands Born from Smoke and Sacrifice" (not Mirrors?), then magical spells, ch'i, weird ass names like Flying Claw or Righteous Drum???, no description of where the fuck the story takes place how they got there and why the hell I'm supposed to care. Too many unrealistic characters; a stupid battle with no intro to WHY. I thought writers were supposed to answer "who what why when where" but you can just chuck that out with this book. No dice. Maybe if you read into the next 150 pages your answers will materialize but I got to the 40th and ran out of give a shits. Off with her head.

Friday, May 14, 2010

BAD MOON RISING by Sherrilyn Kenyon

You gotta be under 14 to read this crap about vampires, bear people, tigards, were-wolves and everyone so far is blonde and stunning, exactly what you find IRL. Even if I was 14 I couldn't read this shit.

Some are human during the day and others are opposite, names of Vane, Fang,
Dev, Craig Keegan, Aimee. Very affected.

Supposedly humans don't know they're among these frickin weirdos and yet the author keeps referring to them appearing as human in a restaurant as pups and wolves. Get over yourself. I betcha if the author on the back smiled she'd show her vampire implants. Now that the vampires have lured in the teenie boppers everyone is on the bandwagon.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The BOYS FROM SANTA CRUZ by Jonathan Nasaw *****

Moves along very fast, most of the time you wonder 'where is he going with this' and you follow along for the ride. Some amusing stuff, ironic stuff, running around here to there. Nothing confusing, good descriptions and the characters really have their own personality so I like that about it.

It's about a kid who has lots of trouble, is institutionalized and wants to retaliate but the story is really everything in between that.

There are a few minor things bothered me like why did Rudy keep some pot in his vehicle when it must have been a huge relief to sell it all and go home plus he must have his personal stash at home so I don't get why he kept some kilos in the car? Left me wondering why....and a van full of money sits left alone for 10 yrs in an empty barn? Think not. Kids love exploring that stuff, even his own main character used to do that so I can't see why it'd be left intact for 10 yrs. That was unbelievable. But then again most of it is!! LOL

I never attached to the main character which was probably intentional -I don't know. I did sort of like the FBI guy chasing him around so since I'm not done yet I hope he's not killed off.

Great read, keeps you interested, moves quickly and hard to put down.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

CLICK TO PLAY by David Handler *

Just started and I got another male writer who likes boxing. Sheesh. 3 books in a row about boxing. IDGAF Supposed to be about Hollywood tv family slaughtered. With a washed up reporter on the run but I get boxing. What are the odds the mafia and drugs are involved?? LOL

Well I gotta say I'm sick of looking thru the shelf books and author names are GIGANTIC with the titles hard to find on the covers. When did this happen? At least I'll know not to pick up anymore screaming DAVID HANDLER books.

Peat and repeat. The entire enchilda is given up very early in the book and the rest of it is just chasing down proof. BORING. Really. I kept waiting for some dark secret to be revealed. Not. Even the people you get familiar with die. And there is a cast of hundreds. I mean so many in show business, in a show, from a show, married to the people in the show, or murdered in the past from the show and now some entangled guy is running for president. Egads. So much b.s. to kill everyone the future president ever had contact with- it's bizarre. Not only that but the true evil villain HERBIE is still running around free! A pedophile who abused his own grandson! WTH? Just about everyone else in the story is dead but him! JEEZ
Leaving unsatisfied.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

The 24th LETTER by Tom Lowe ***

I really abhor books with a cast of thousands. 300 something pages with as many names first/last etc. Not happy. Some guy is reading, nodding off and then "headed for the salon door, the dog followed to the cockpit. She licked his face blahblah and climbed the ladderlike steps to the flybridge. He unzipped the isinglass window." Is this all in English?? I don't know. Lots of crap like that in here.

Not impressed. Some murderer wrongly convicted will be put to death in like 60 hours unless the case is solved by the original cop who fucked it up the first time- yeah right. Meanwhile a lot of other people are dying in the process and seems no one gives a shit but the entire book is for one innocent on death row? Where's the cops? Where's the investigation? Don't know. Chasing the excop who really isn't very smart. Dead priest leaves a mysterious bloody message. Not 'FRED DID IT'. Of COURSE NOT!! 

Topics: Drugs, mafia, Boxing. 

Losing total respect for the writer. The stupid priest bloody message took 300 pages to figure out but how did the guy know it referred to a handwritten paper left in a bible? It never said anything about a bible- so if he's going to be psychic he could have checked the bible immediately following the priests murder. That's one thing pissing me off now the next:

The killer is headed for the same place as O'Brien (lead character). BUT the killer has no idea where the evidence that would convict him is hidden so why go there? It's a dark and rainy night! O'Brien knows the killer is hiding around the area someplace absolutely clueless about where the evidence is...while the killer is hiding nearby (since he has access to police info) the moron cop is going to dig up the evidence and...o no the killer is going to see him! He will kill O'Brien....o no hahahahaa. IDIOT WRITER. Why why why does crap get published.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

The KEEPER of LIGHT & DUST by Natasha Mostert ***

Very interesting weird novel. It was about chi and kick boxing. Parts of it didn't interest me but I continued to read it because it was well written, good descriptions and it moved along rather well. I just didn't get the concept all that much and didn't really care for the boxing crap.

Everyone is of course stunningly gorgeous, tall, muscular etc. so it's somewhat fanciful in the vein of most fiction. All the beautiful people are in books.

The writer has this supposedly 'powerful' protective character who can't sense evil, or trouble even tho that's her speciality. Really she's pretty much in the dark until the end about how dangerous this guy is and instead of killing him she-- I  guess erases his tattoo??? And that kills him?? WTF whatever.

Should be called fantasy fiction.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


The book has several chapters separated by narrator. There's quite a few people doing diary style chapters.

This guy was dating a girl and 3 months later he asked her to marry him but before the wedding (a month later) she and his brother fell in love. Panties don't say on these characters for long. Now everyone is a happy family. RRRIIIGGGHTTT!

And in one scene he asks a total stranger on a date and she gives him the hairy eyeball when his limo drops her off at a condo. He thinks she wants to screw him.
Like I said, everyone's pants go flying into the air. He ignores her! HA

It's about stem cells etc and some chapters are about a court case, others about people outside the court spewing their garbage on both sides of the topic over and over again. It gets very tedious between court, outside it, the justifications of the main character and his brother. I am sick of all the stem cell back and forth -really had enough. I'm less than half thru the book.

I am now skipping over the court chapters because they bore me. The only interesting part is the 3-way relationship because somehow this author thinks 3 months is fine for falling in love and marrying for all of them without any comedy in between. I'm very amused by this crap.

Don't really like it, can't wait to see if the newly married couple sent to some war torn starving country ends up dead or alive at the end. Not rooting for anyone here.

I'm surprised the author has a scientific background because the experiments here are way off. It's about regrowing tissue, like an arm etc. So they experiment on some small hogs and monkeys never saying whether the experiments work or not but then use a chimp. Now that's just not right. They would first need a positive result to continue. Next they chop off a chimps arm to regrow one and remove his eye. So he's got all sorts of drugs in his system right? This is supposed to be real science. Next some girl with approval adds more experimental drugs to counteract some tumors on the chimp. That is NOT the way experiments are done. That's unprofessional. Only one drug and they should have other subjects etc. Ever hear of a control subject, Homer? So I'm unhappy with the chimp mutilation esp. without knowing other testing was positive and worked. This is why scientists have a bad reputation. Not just "they don't care about the animals" they don't even prove one thing before moving on? ASSES.

Monday, May 3, 2010

The LOST SYMBOL by Dan Brown ****

Well it's always intriguing to read Dan at the same time his characters are always blundering idiots. For example, a guy is trapped and drowning -his captor awaits an answer and instead of saying "let me out then I'll tell you" (which he says) but then tells anyway, is then obviously left to die. Many characters spill their guts with the threat of pain or death; and die after they do. LOL I mean HOW many stupid people are there? The sister gets a text message instead of phone call from her brother who doesn't ever text cuz he doesn't know how or care to learn but she then magically believes he sent it. Most of the time my mouth is open at the pure stupidity of the main characters.

PLUS the entire book is predicated on secrets and codes. Everyone knows it's all a big secret. One guy Peter, trusts (again stupidly) another, Robert, to keep something for him which Robert immediately under the simplest threat - a severed hand of Peter, whom he never learns is dead or alive, proceeds to decipher the code, hands everything he learns over to the criminal -responsible for killing an entire family! I sort of was routing for criminal-boy because the entire Solomon family was pure ignorance but described as super intelligent genius quality minds. Call me flabbergasted. At least he could have added that behind all the genius they couldn't function in the real world and given examples. But they do elude well. LOL

Of course the criminal is super intelligent. Some foreign prison turns up a super intelligent guy who robs a millionaire, kills him, ends up knowing all about the dark Arts and secrets so much so he could probably teach the geniuses.

On the plus side it's Dan Brown writing interesting and fast paced action that keeps you wanting to know more even tho you are either laughing at the ignorance or in awe of it. There's a lot of chasing, a lot of red herrings, lots of following ancient clues in modern world sort of stuff. If you are a fan you'll like it.