Sunday, February 28, 2010

MONK and the DIRTY COP by Lee Goldberg *****

Same Monk with the TV series - very funny. I like everything about it. Great descriptions. No innumerable faceless characters. Light and fun. 
Of course a newly discovered diaper wrapper is re-functioned to wrap every item Monk tosses away. Too bad he's not more conscious about the environment at large not just his little tiny Monk-world. 

Recommend it highly very entertaining. I like the easy flowing style. 

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

DARK OF NIGHT by Suzanne Brockmann -*

I've read Brockmann before and she has a bad habit of throwing a ton of names at you very quickly. To start she has Jimmy fake dead, screwing Tess, who Decker is pretending to screw (due to Jims fake death) but really has wanted to screw Sophia who is now screwing Dave but she always wanted to screw Decker (so Dave thinks). What I'm wondering is if Decker always wanted to screw Sophia and she wanted him- before the pretend death why was he not screwing her? Why is he now pretending to screw Tess? Obviously the writer has more experience playing games in relationships than I do cuz I don't get it.

There's a lot of sex involved amongst people who have supposedly very little experience (one a virgin at 30 bwahahahaa) but now have the ability to find every possible position quite suddenly. This is a large pill to swallow so get a big glass of water.

Her writing is generally easy to follow if you block out the names/nouns, her characters are ok but sort of similar personality-wise. Big hulking muscle men, beautiful blue eyed dainty feminine women. Barbies with legs spread everywhere.

Here are the people you need to get familiar with in 35 pages:
Sophia, Dave, James Nash, Alyssa Locke, Tom Paoletti, Lawrence Decker, Sam Starrett, Kathy/Anise, Maureen Miles, Tess Bailey, Jules Cassidy, Diego Nash NICKNAME for James Nash now called Lloyd Howard (3 names= 1 guy), Paula, Robin, Ashton, Mary Lou, Paul Miles, Cleopatra Farrell or Cynthia, Miles Farrell aka Sophia, Dimitri. I'm not sorting out relationships and good luck reading that before falling asleep.  It would be a lot of names even if each character didn't have 2 or 3 of them.

These are supposedly tough guys yet one weeps in his sleep, another is an emotional pushover that the 'idea of bunnies falling in love in spring make him choke up'. Tough undercover agents who are sweet, cuddly and adorable to their girlfriends (term 'women' does not apply) and keep getting stab wounds and gunshots. Hospitals figure heavily in her book. Very clever dark ops men getting shot and surprised all the time! 

When referring to 'undercover' agents here it has only to do with a bed.

Sex is either mentioned, being done, or thought about on every one of the 418 pages and you know what they say about those who talk about it the most-getting it least. It all gets so tedious so fast. And one slutty bitch waves her dildo around and has a conversation about it for chapters on end. I would be embarrassed to write this shit. 

Too tediously over-sexual. Who reads this? WHO? I quit halfway.
I've read Harlequin Romances 100x better than this inane b.s. 
MINUS a star. Really. It SUCKED.

Monday, February 22, 2010

JUST TAKE MY HEART by Mary Higgins Clark ***

Well I'm getting thru the 'mystery' that's not so mysterious but is typical for this writer. I don't read much of her stuff because to ME it seems simplified, as if she were writing for a teen. I know she's very popular and her writing style is easy to read thru.

It flows along well enough with tons of repetition (good for falling asleep, she keeps reminding you of stuff over and over), then I get to the accused in court being tried for his wife's murder, he was on the stand admitting for the first time to anyone how he peered into the window of his wife's house. Now why would he offer up that bit of info, which is embarrassing, when it wasn't necessary and no one saw him? If he was the killer, the prosecutor has good reason to wonder why he just admitted that- AND in court, as opposed to the rest of the time, lead character is the biggest meanest bitch. Otherwise she seems almost normal.

From the title, and the fact this murder and the prosecutor's heart transplant occur at the same time, I haven't gotten to the 'surprise' yet. I wonder what it will be...

It's a quick read and entertaining if nothing else. This killer likes to try new things, (unlike real serial killers) and has predominantly killed his wives by gunshot or strangling. Now totally out of his MO -untrue to reality- he's stalking a stranger and I have no clue why. 

A criminal 'witness' gets his sentence significantly reduced for his testimony. I was on a murder jury and believe me they give convicts NOTHING for testifying except the pleasure of being out of jail for the day and a better lunch. If they got lowered sentences they'd all fabricate testimony to all sorts of stuff and the courts would be surrounded by barbed wire to keep them all in.

Killer wants to kill a neighbor old lady, here's how it goes down, spontaneously, no prep: First floor window is conveniently already open, it leads to a bathroom next to the living room and the door is conveniently closed, the lady has the TV volume up high cuz she's conveniently deaf and the bathroom door conveniently opens up right behind her frickin chair...WOW
See? Simplistic.

I see absolutely NO motivation for this killer to stalk and want to kill the main character. I have no idea why and author isn't telling. Why does he hate her so much when she's a total stranger to him (far as I know) and I'm at the very end of the book. He's being chased by all law enforcement right now and is hanging around specifically to kill her (with no plan) and if things all fall into place conveniently as it does everywhere else she should be dead in a few pages. But I'm sure she'll prove to be more difficult to kill for some simplistic reason.

I read it. That counts for something!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

The NIGHT STALKER by James Swain ***

Has a good beginning, nice descriptions not bogged down but sometimes it seems like the protagonist has magic powers. He just solves crimes in his head in seconds. He "knows" the killer is a fat fake nurse in her 30s because of the sick child WHAT? CASE SOLVED!

Bonus points for having a dog but someone tries to strangle the dog and he still thinks the person is worth saving. Personally I'd shoot him between the eyes but I didn't write the book.

The writing draws you in quickly and it's action packed. One cop tells him to give up the case or you'll never work again and it's hard to understand because the character is hired by someone else; is NOT a cop and how can he be stopped? I laughed. 

Lots of magical things: he assumes a person would drop a child to kill a bum but while reading you think why? Maybe he killed the bum before he kidnapped the child. Lots of that sort of stuff makes you scratch your head. The writer thinks linear and doesn't sort out other possibilities that as a more intelligent reader you do wonder about. He does an awful lot of assuming.

In the very beginning of the story (page 4) the character says 'I had been involved in Abbs case and I knew his story'. On page 34 he says he 'NEVER quit a case'. In the END he shockingly learns all the information FOR THE FIRST TIME he should have known if he worked on the case...DUR HOMER. So I'm calling him a liar. He never worked the damn case and he quits them with regularity. Aside from the obvious inconsistencies (writer drinks a lot?) then it's a fair read. It goes quick so at least you don't have to put up with it for a long stinking time.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


Too flowery, too filled with internal angst for me. Woody Allen might like it. 4 pages and I'm snoring. 
NO STARS -couldn't be bothered to read it. 

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

BAD THINGS by Michael Marshall *

The book claims to be 'twisting relentlessly thrilling...blahblah' but while reading I keep drifting off. Why; I wondered. Well lets start with the writer's sentences wandering away from point. Instead of saying "he led me outside thru this door" you get "it's the entry you'd enter if you went out with a drink before coming in for dinner"  He says "someone made a meal of having his things around." Writer cannot focus, he drifts around like a feather. Other quotes "socked-away state" of mind? Of place? "fixed him a holding snack" Huh? Someone else "saw the sun come up but wasn't awake for it" whatever that does for the writer it sends me off into WTF land.

Lead character has an email address that is so old it is 'dead line' and he reads the email from there. WHY is he even checking it if it's DEAD? The connections in writer's mind have shorted out. His writing has lot of rambling nonsense which pulls me right out of the story.  Very tedious because I have to back up all the time or trip over his oddball sentences.

If I were the editor I'd have cleaned out about 1/3 of this crap I have to wade around in. If I don't drown in the muck I'll continue.

I drowned. Finished the book but WTF? I have no idea what that was all about. Something about 100s of years, the woods, odd scents, shootings, spells on people...but nothing was ever made clear. As disappointing as The Blair Witch Project. You really think you're reading a book of substance but it's all smoke and mirrors. I barely understand the connections of people never mind the basic story line. The characters are all dopes. Surprised and shocked this guy gets published.

Sorry I wasted my time.

Monday, February 15, 2010

The MURDERER'S DAUGHTERS by Randy Meyers ***

Well this started off with some unreal scenarios. A 10 yo wants a set of encyclopedias for her birthday...ok...whatever. This poor family begins with mom who was a teen mother and a drunk dad who murders mom and the story follows the 2 daughters thru their life. One who was stabbed by daddy keeps close contact with him (why? clueless), the other who failed to alert anyone quick enough to the violence won't visit him in jail at all. They are in an orphanage for a short stint then fostered by manipulation of the eldest girl into a wealthy sort of family.

The liklihood of either girl with this background attending college and having the 'foster' father pay for it is way out of league with reality. Also it's never explained how the elder girl who shows absolutely no feelings of warmth towards anyone at all and is jealous of her sister becomes so caring as an adult that she wants to be a doctor. Then she suddenly is so compassionate. I don't get it. She never had any epiphany I saw.

Also; I despise people writing about how characters with scars touch them and rub them their entire life when the tiniest stress is on them. Believe me I've met hundreds of people and who has NO scar? And not one of them is obsessively playing with it as some writers seem to think is so common. It's NOT. Makes the character seem weird, off, psychotic even and belongs in a ward.

The eldest girl thinks her father RUINED her life. Actuality he saved it from a self obsessed glamour queen mother, drunk father who can't deal with reality and boom they somehow end up being college grads with nice lives. So ruined!! I wish my life was that ruined. I'm sure the writer didn't intend the reader to think that either.

So this really should be in a "fantasy" category not just fiction. Other than that it's not a bad read. It flows well, fleshed out characters, nice scene descriptions as well. Nothing difficult to follow at all. If you can get over your disbelief with the basic story line it's ok.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

SCREEN SHOT by John Darrin ****

Begins with a unique idea, some interesting background info on the characters. They seem memorable and distinct from each other. The story is about an online live murder and continues in that manner. The murderer actually has a job and is accountable for his/her time. Usually I wonder how the murderer can be in 100 places at once without any travel time, no job or's cliche and not believable.

Good descriptions, nice background info without interference. The story moves along progressively without painful flashbacks. So far I'm enjoying it. I would like a little more info on personality thru dialogue of the lead characters but still early and hoping that will come. I'm not inundated with minor people, names, places and past histories. Right to the story and action.

I enjoyed the book, only glitch I could see is lead character talks on the phone all the time with, then meets murderer and later can't recognize his voice, has no clue at all he met him. I prefer someone intelligent enough that if he can solve a crime he's suspicious enough to feel at least something when he speaks to then meets the criminal.

Monday, February 8, 2010

COYOTE'S WIFE by Aimee and David Thurlo **

I'm a chapter into this right now. It seems written for young adults or unsophisticated readers. The main character who is a female, single mother cop describes stuff as if the reader is a child.

A guy runs in front of her off duty car, her driver (also her partner -how convenient) stops in time, they see him bleed to death. Then page after page goes on and on about how it "may" have happened. 'He probably cut himself accidently, or maybe was drunk or maybe did some pills, or maybe there was someone else who hit him on the head. Or maybe that person covered his tracks, or maybe it's related to the company he works for. Or maybe maybe.' There are all those scenarios and I'm on page 45. You can only imagine my future.

Some old bat almost gets T-boned pulling out in front of a cruiser and no one gets a ticket. Matter of fact the cops molly coddle her back into the street. Yeah. So real. Also so real, small time PD and every cop is on every scene helping but seems our main character does nothing but drive around, she's not the chief but she gets all the reports and works directly with an FBI agent who is, at best slow, at worst a moron who needs HER help. The head of security's name: "Mr. VIGIL" Haha, who is not very vigilant. Other names are hard to separate in some sentences, "Dawn was brushing Wind and Boots came around the corner." And funniest of all is a local gang called "The Fierce Ones." Sadly it gets funnier.

The writing is immature. Lots of religious myth stuff, talismans, crystal balls and Navaho culture. The book protrays the entire Navaho people as stunted or ignorant. They don't say each others' name (which gets confusing..'my brother did that'--ok how many brothers you got and which one), they don't knock on doors, they stand around till the homeowner notices them. The characters are undeveloped personality-wise. There are physical descriptions but the internal stuff isn't even briefly touched on. No one has any specific character traits to define them. 

There's supposedly low funding yet the PD wastes time to fingerprint fireworks? Wow! And they get sneaker and tire drawings at stupid low crime calls. There are always at least 4 cops at a scene if not more. There are so many nuisance crimes thru the entire book and they send 2 cops, plus gather evidence, take prints, I don't understand how anything ever gets solved. They call each other for a prowler; FBI, her, 2 other cops show up while cops are guarding people, scenes and houses all over town. I mean it's very Keystone Cops. Not bad for unintended comedy relief.

Pages and pages are bogged down with picky ante crime crap, no one EVER gets caught doing ANYthing and I'm past 250 pages. They can't even find one criminal with 10 stupid things happening daily. Give them a silent movie, put them all in one car and speed them down the road waving batons. 

For all the people scurrying around like ants getting car tracks, foot prints, fingerprints, license plates, they can't even track phone calls. Nothing ever results in police work being the lead to any criminal. Plus, another person dies because these "cops" (so called), are too dumb to do their job. Also there is no remorse or sadness about this death.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

The LAST CHILD by John Hart

Picked it up at the library got a few pages into it and realized I read it before. 

I don't remember enough to rate it but I will say it starts with a child climbing into a tree to kill an eagle and leave 2 hatchlings to die. Far as I remember no one rectifies this in the story. Brat-jerk should have been jailed. I don't know if I finished it or if this beginning completely shut me off the book. I hate animal cruelty.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The STRAIN by Del Toro & Hogan ****

With 2 writers I'm hoping it's good- beginning now...
So far it's very good. Nice descriptions, people are indepth and real.

Plane stops after landing and all on board are apparently deceased. Instead ETA is DOA. The procedures seem authentic for plane and mysterious diseases. The protagonist sounds capable and intelligent. Of course 'strain' and the empty coffin are swinging towards vampires. It's unusually realistic preceding the disease- as far as vampire stories go.

I found the child custody issue to be anti-women stereotypical cliche angry-male perspective but hell maybe I'm reading too much into the bitchy wife and inane new boyfriend stuff. But dad took off during kid weekend to work. Reasonable excuse?

O my, people who were assumed dead on the airline are all missing! Everyone PANIC!

I'm more than half way thru it and am enjoying the book. Good writing, nice flow to the story. Nothing interfering with my in-the-head movie. I am biting my nails and not falling asleep quickly; stupid vampires!

Good read. It has no finish. There is a world of vampires and I suppose a sequel is in order. I prefer a book with an ending. It's nice you guys want me to buy the next book but I don't trust you now. There will never be an ending, you'll just go on and on forever and I don't want to be on the never-ending ride. I only wanted the short trip.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

ABOVE THE LAW by Tim Green ***

Just about to open it and the title should have been on the last book I read. Back to ya later.

Starts off fast. Boss says to gringo, you come running to screw my wife then the idiot goes hunting with him before sunrise. O dead gringo -surprise! 

We switch locales rather fast; woods, law office, dead gringos house, back to law office then to dead gringos brother..I'm dizzy and only on page 24. Lotta people. A PI has "teeth like sharp blades" really? "Eyelashes flutter with a tic?" Mr. Beautiful works for the lead character Casey, and every woman on earth wants him bad- except her. Of course. 

Gringos brother is huge, steriod gang creature who is so tough he "can take care of his own". HAHAHA speaks well about his DEAD brother doesn't it?? Ok. I do not believe you. But off he goes ingratiating himself to get a job with the killer for his revenge. The sheriff shoots him. 

The story is about, yet again, corruption. The senator or sheriff, the whatever whoever manipulating and greedy. Killing and browbeating the downtrodden.

One page has Senator Chase, heroine Casey, Norman Case. Ok, lets move along on the alphabet.

The writing is ok, the descriptions ok, the action scenes I am amused by because I don't really care about anyone. Don't care. 

As I got closer to the end and stuff was coming together I at least felt a little more towards some characters. I gotta say tho, without giving it all away, the ending for me was a disappointment. I would have preferred justice in the hands of the lead characters. The way it ended I felt let down, he chose an easier moral ground for them. No balls. JMO