YEAR ONE by Rob Reid *

This one is barely readable. I only have 2 books til Friday so am forced to shove this down my throat. Some guy who's partner in a group of lawyers, his name is Nick Carter gets a meeting with some aliens who think they owe the music world all their money in the universe for stealing their music-listening to it and playing it etc. He even has very boring * things you have to read at the bottom of the page.

The aliens travel thru wrinkles, like the universe is a sheet with folds in it. That's how they get places. It's pretty much about idolizing music and musicians, there's a lot of thrown in internet crap like Fark etc. just so he can say it "fark". He hangs out with 2 aliens Carly and Frampton. Carly is supposedly so famous around the universe for being in a reality show which most of the time she's not in it-so how does that work exactly? Once they went to see her daddy ONSTAGE and then things were being filmed --WHAT? It was supposed to be a concert. I got no clue but at first you are led to believe it's a music concert going on with lip-syncing and I don't see any of that taking place. It actually was quite a bit more boring.

Meanwhile our hero Nick gets an upgrade including 6 more toes or something then later in the book he can't even fold himself into a wrinkle while trying to convince someone he's a guardian whatever the fuck that is. Guardians I suppose don't need help traveling thru space tho and yet this one idiot can't do it. There are multiple species more intelligent than earth people our only advancement is music according to them. But if you count a 20 yo blonde bimbo (name rhymes with Maylor) who is barely 20 almost still in diapers, has nothing to say and got an emmy as someone who helps our planet become famous I got no clue of 'why'. To me the music industry is the WORST failure of our society. The first song aliens like was Welcome Back Kotter and the novel goes downhill from there with one song wonders being famous on these planets by lip sync-ers cuz they cannot sing at all.

So I'll let you decipher what "That merkin stand was from Borneo" means while they're inside a Warcraft scene on earth. Sheesh. I don't know if someone is trying to destroy the world, take it over, save it or publish it.

Sounds like somebody isn't taking their meds and needs an aluminum hat while watching tv. I'm on page 269 and cannot take it anymore. If you see it in the library gently replace it and run. NEXT!!